My New Blog

 I have moved to a new home for my blog on Substack. 

The link can be found below 

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https://theothersideoflifeblog.substack.com/

I hope I can bring my friends and followers with me on this new chapter for my blog.

The content from this blog has been exported to the new one. 

No new posts will appear on this blog. But hopefully lots will be published on the new one.

Thank you to everyone who has followed my blog and commented. Thank you. 

Moving Blog

 I have developed a problem with Blogger in the last couple of days. Google has done an update which has made many of the images that I've uploaded over the last 18 months of blogging, appear pixelated and blurred. Apparently my S23 Ultra phone files, are suddenly incompatible with Blogger. I've spent 24 hours trying to resolve the issue, and it appears impossible. Even resizing the images doesn't work. In recent weeks, I've had Blog Roll issues and commenting issues on Blogger.

Enough is enough. I'm going to move to Substack. It's going to take a little while to get it how I want it, and to find my way around.  And it will be a long process to slowly fix the pixelated images over time, because they got imported with my old posts. But I will soon be back to blogging enthusiastically again. 

So please bear with, and I'll hopefully see you on the other side with the details of my new blog.

Dee

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HAIR

 

Or rather, WIGS!  Because I am a wig wearing Tgirl. In this post I'm going to show off my small collection of wigs. One of the joys of being a Tgirl is that there is no expectation for me to have just one femme look. And this especially applies to hairstyles. Nothing changes your appearance as much as your hairstyle. With one hairstyle I can look a little younger than my real age. And with the next I can look considerably older than my real age. And it's perfectly acceptable to have these different looks. Because it's not my everyday persona (which is sadly drab and masculine, out of necessity) I can choose to look different each time that I dress and present as my feminine persona. It's a lot of fun.

I think in many ways, the wig manufacturers lean into this different persona concept  with the way they market their products. The different models of wigs often have female names attached to them. Names like Nikki or Mariah or Amy. These names almost give the impression that wearing the wig transforms you into someone else while it's on your head. It becomes a fun way to change your look. 

 Of course, wigs are not just for fashion. They can be worn for medical reasons, to hide hair loss due to cancer treatment, or conditions like alopecia or hair thinning. In these cases, the wigs are usually close to the actual hsstyle of the user, and they keep that style to look authentic. 

But for fashion purposes wigs can be worn to create different looks. My Mother was a wig wearer. She had mousey brown hair, but would often wear a fashion wig, either auburn or blonde, on a night out. This came in very useful when a certain someone began to dress in her clothes. 

I can remember the adverts for wigs at the back of American imported comics from the 1960s and 1970s.  And seeing all of the styles and wishing I could order one. Along with X-Ray glasses and Sea Monkeys 

I can also remember the Rolling Stones creating a pastiche of these adverts on the cover of their 1978 album, Some Girls. 

Within the trans community, wigs have a very important place. For crossdressers and Tgirls, they usually only dress part time, and their main gender presentation is as a masculine male, with a man's hairstyle. So they need a woman's hairstyle to complete their feminine transformation. And usually this involves wearing a wig. And for some trans women,  who have transitioned after losing their hair to male pattern baldness, which can happen if they're genetically disposed to hair loss and if their male hormones haven't been tempered by the use of feminising HRT. 

Like many in the trans world, I am a wig wearer. I began wearing my Mother's fashion wigs as a teenager. When she sadly got rid of them a couple of years later, I had a few years when I had a very unisex hairstyle, at times resembling David Bowie in his mid 1970s look, and then David Sylvian in the early 1980s. That style was perfect for both my androgynous male persona (very much de riguer in the early 1980s) and my femme persona as a crossdresser. 

I didn't do a lot of crossdressing in my 20s, amd by the time I began on my 30s, I had a masculine hairstyle, which I couldn't really grow out into a femme hairstyle, because of my marriage. So I returned to being a wig wearer again for the first time since my early teens. 

So I'm going to go through my wig collection and show my various different looks. I had a few poor quality wigs in my 30s and early 40s, that I was never photographed wearing, and which didn't last very long.  But I still have all of the wigs that I have worn since 2009. Some I no longer wear at all, but I keep for nostalgia. Others get occasional use and some are in regular rotation. 

I'll begin by showing a photo of myself dressed en-femme, but sans wig. So you can see my masculine hairstyle and then appreciate how different a wig can make me look.

Myself without my wig, but dressed and made up.

When you see me in my various different wigs, you will probably be quite surprised at how different I look as a Tgirl. You'll also find it amazing, how the different wigs completely change my look. Sometimes to the point if looking like a completely different persona. And that's the fun of wigs and being a Tgirl. 

Wig Number 1

'Nikki' by Secrets

I bought this wig in 2009 from Doreen's Fashions in London. It wasn't my first wig. But it was the first wig that anyone else saw me wearing. It was an end of line wig, so I got it for 50% off the original price. I can't remember the price. But it is a good quality monofilament wig. It is a dark brunette with beautiful ash brown and auburn highlights streaked through it. It's a lovely colour. I wore it exclusively from January 2009 when I bought it, through to the end of 2010. Anyone remembers me on my first forays out in public and on the TG scene, will have seen this wig. I wore it,off and on, up until 2021. By then, it was showing it's age, and so I retired it. The adjusting straps inside have perished and it just looks a bit tired. I now keep it for sentimental reasons. 

Wig Number 2

'Cory' by Noriko

My next wig was this short bob wig from Noriko. The 'Cory' in a dark brown shade called Cappucino. As with all of my wigs, it's monofilament. I was given this wig by my friend Chrissie, who bought it from The Banbury Postiche, but only wore it once, and didn't like it. But I loved it, and wore it exclusively for the first 10 months of 2011. It's a very easy wig to wear and style. It's a good quality wig from a brand that I have come to trust. I felt it was beginning to not suit me as well as it once did,  and so it's now been retired from use. But like the previous wig, I've kept it for nostalgia.

Wig Number 3

Grey Permed Wig

I decided to get a wig that matched my own hair colour as I wanted a more mature look. I bought this unbranded wig from Amazon. It definitely gave me a more mature look. Perhaps too much mature. Personally I really love wearing it, and looking older, but I don't think it's ever going to be my main femme presentation. And I think that this wig is far too aging. But it's fun to wear sometimes, so it's stayed in my collection and gets worn a couple of times a year. It's not brilliant quality, but it's very easy to style and wear.

Wig Number 4

 

Euro Beauty Wig

So I still wanted a silver or grey wig, that gave me a more mature look, without aging me, too much. The previous wig did add too many years to my appearance. In late 2022, I bought this cheap wig from Amazon. And this one was much closer to what I was after. It's made by a company called Euro Beauty. It's a mix of silver and blonde with dark roots. It's not fantastic quality, but it's acceptable and looks lovely when on. It was my main wig for the latter part of 2022 and  most of 2023. And it's still a wig I wear sometimes. I love the colour and the style of it. It gives me the mature look that I'm looking for, without looking elderly. I'm going to wear it a lot more in the future. 

Wig Number 5

'Grosvenor' by Vidal Sassoon 

This wig is a vintage wig, dating from the 1960s. It was gifted to me by my lovely friend,  Veronica.  I did wear it quite a lot when I first had it. I haven't worn it for a while. Being very short, it's quite good for wearing when I'm doing something practical. I used to wear it to my work as a holiday let cleaner. I love it for it's history. It's a real collectors piece.

Wig Number 6

Vintage Auburn Curly Wig

This wig was also a gift from Veronica. It dates from the 1970s or 80s. It used to belong to her mother. So I feel very privileged and honoured to have been given it. It's a lovely wig and I enjoy wearing it now and then. It's a mature look. I sometimes call it my Meg Mortimer look, inspired by the Crossroads soap opera from the 1970s and 80s. 

Wig Number 7

'Mariah' by Noriko

I came across this Noriko for sale on Ebay, back in late 2024. It was an ex display item, and came boxed and with the tags still attached. It's a beautiful wig with wonderful volume. And the colour is gorgeous. Harvest Gold, which is a warm brunette with blonde and auburn highlights. I absolutely adore this hairstyle. It gives me the mature look that I like, without aging me beyond my years. I always look forward to wearing this wig. It suits me wonderfully. I wore it exclusively from late 2024, until September 2025. I still wear it a lot. It's a real favourite. 

Wig Number 8

'Valencia' by Jacqueline 

I wanted to try a blonde wig, because I hadn't worn that hair colour since I was a young teenager, just starting my crossdressing journey.  So I bought this wig from the Natural Images online wig shop. However when I wore it, I realised it looked nothing like it did in the photos on the website. It made me look quite masculine from some angles. But I did love the colour. Blonde hair definitely works well for me. But I'm afraid this wig only had 2 wears before being discarded.

Wig Number 9

'Sky' by Noriko 

Having liked the colour of my previous blonde wig, but not the style, I began looking for another blonde wig. And I found this beautiful short blonde wig on the Simply Wigs website. It's the 'Sky' by Noriko in a colour called 'Creamy Toffee'. As soon as I put it on, it looked wonderful. I fell in love with it straight away. It's probably going to be my first choice wig, for quite some time. What's more, I even posted an online review to Simply Wigs, with a photo that got accepted, and I now show up in the 'Customers Gallery' for this wig, which is used to show potential buyers what the wig looks like when worn in real life. That felt very validating for me.

My Review Photo On Simply Wigs 

This wig is definitely my favourite. And it's also my third wig by Noriko, so that's a brand I have come to trust and look out for, when buying a new wig. 

Wig Number 10

Ombre Wig by Haircube

I wanted to try a longer blonde wig, just out of curiosity. I didn't want to spend too much money, so it was off to Amazon again.  I found this wig for £26. It's from a brand called Haircube. The wig is described as being ombre with dark roots. It's not great quality. It looks smooth, sleek and glossy, but it sheds worse than a labrador retriever at the end of Winter. But it looks ok. I love the colour and the length. I would prefer fringe, rather than the curtain effect of this wig. It's not going to be a regular wear for me, but now and then might be fun.

So that's the end of a hair raising journey through my wig history, so far. I'm sure there will be more wigs added to the collection in time. I do love having different femme looks and presentations. 

Dee

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Blogging Onwards

 

So I'm enjoying my blogging, and I've been thinking about how to do things in the future. And I've decided to stick to the monthly round up of events in my life, even though they can be very difficult at times. But I will try to keep the round up as positive as possible. I think it's a good thing to try to find the positives to write about, even in a trying month, because it makes me look through the rubbish of everyday life, to find those nuggets of positivity. And suddenly things don't seem quite as bad as they were. The challenge will be to make sure that the positives outweigh the negatives, because I don't want to bore the readers of this blog with misery. My life is hard, it's true. But it's far from miserable  and my blog will reflect that. 

I'm going to start creating a short blog post for each dressing opportunity that I have, with details of the outfit I'm wearing. I'll be back dating these posts to the start of the year. 

I'll also be creating little "article" posts about various subjects that relate to my life as a femme non-binary queer person. An example of these would be my recent thoughts on Tiptoe and the real example of trans and homophobic that occurred in a town near my home lately.

And I'm going to be creating more posts on music. Music is a huge part of my life  and helps to keep me calm, and as such I want to write about it in my blog. So I will start doing my regular round up of my musical listening  with a regular On The Turntable post. I will also write posts on my favourite artists and records, from time to time. 

I've had a positive response to my blog so far,  and I've made some friends by doing it. Now I want to get myself more active with it.

Thank you to everyone who has read my blog and enjoyed it, and for the comments and feedback I've received. 

Deeanna 

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Tattoos Denied

 Those who follow my blog, will know that I was hoping to get some tattoos done on my arms.  However, I do suffer from psoriasis. It's mostly on my lower legs and my scalp. It's never affected my arms ever. So I didn't even think about it being a problem. But after speaking to the pharmacist, I was advised to be cautious. Apparently even on unaffected skin, trauma can trigger psoriasis outbreaks on the area damaged. And that can happen even if an area has never been affected previously. And when it does happen, it can affect just the tattoo, which means it looks awful. It's something called the Koebner Effect. It can happen straight away or sometimes months later. And it occurs in about 30% of psoriasis sufferers that get tattoos. So I'm not going to go ahead, even though I really want some ink.  My health is very important, especially as a carer. And I also can't risk anything that makes dressing difficult or impossible, as I need to dress to keep my mental health intact. So it's bye bye to tattoos for me. I've survived 61 years without them, and I can cope with the disappointment.

It also means that I need to be careful about hair removal. Waxing is definitely out. So is epilation. I need to be careful shaving. I was told it would be best not to remove any body hair at all. Well that's definitely not an option. So it will have to be careful about  it. But it's not going to hold me back. I've survived until now with this condition, and I will carry on surviving.

June Bugs

 

Well June was a weird month, wasn't it?  It's been s month of faltering steps and bugs in the machinery of life. After record heat in May, June was like Winter, here in Cornwall. Often wet, sometimes very cold and far from 'Flaming June'. And then suddenly, almost out of nowhere, we had temperatures in the 30s and awful humidity, which is rare in West Cornwall, where it's rarely too hot and rarely too cold. It would be Goldilocks weather, but we have to put up with mizzle and Atlantic storms.  It was a shock how quickly it got warm. No gradual warming up. Just suddenly it was stiflingly hot.

The hot weather did cause some serious problems for us. Hot weather isn't good for MS sufferers and it badly exacerbated my Wife's condition. As a result, she had a nasty fall, which required an ambulance call out. Thankfully she wasn't hurt, but it was a scary situation. She's also feeling poorly with a nasty lesion on her tongue. She's been referred to the ENT department for an urgent appointment because they are worried it could be cancer. So it's a difficult time at the moment, and heatwaves aren't helping. She's got an appointment next Friday. Fingers crossed things work out ok. There was some progress made on the caring front because I have completed my hoist training. 

The hot weather did impact my ability to dress, because it's not comfortable wearing a wig and make up in that heat. But I managed some dressing sessions both pre and post heatwave. For the first session of month, I decided to wear my silver blonde wig. I haven't worn it for a couple of years. I really must wear it more because I really like it. I wore it with a new dress that I got from Damart, teamed with my navy cardigan. I also gave a first wear to my new white trainers by Redfish, which were a bargain from Shoezone for just £5. It was a simple everyday kind of look that I loved.

Towards the end of the month, when things had cooled down, I managed to have another couple of dressing sessions. I had another new dress to debut. This one was a very vibrantly coloured dress that I purchased from Lands End Clothing. It was reduced from £110 down to £33. It's a beautiful dress and really good quality.  I wore it with my short blonde wig, and was really pleased with my look. It was a very enjoyable dressing session. 

My next dressing session saw me wearing one of my Lady Vintage dresses. I chose my 'Cobalt From The Blue', Hepburn dress and teamed it with a lace cardigan and matching gloves, with my white trainers. I wore my short blonde wig again and topped of the look with a straw hat. A very summery look, although the weather wasn't too seasonal, being a bit cloudy and overcast. But these conditions are better for photographs than struggling to cope with bright sunshine, so I wasn't complaining, and it certainly made the colour of the dress pop.

In both photo sessions, I wore my new discovery. Snag tights. I much prefer tights to stockings or hold ups. I find stockings to be such a faff and literally style over substance. So ok occasionally and for an occasion, but not for everyday use.  And Hold Ups, perhaps should be renamed Fall Downs! I also prefer tights of 30 denier plus, because I have a very noticeable scar that runs down my left shin, from 3 inches below my left knee to just above my ankle. It's the legacy of a road traffic accident on my youth and operations to put metal work into my leg  and then remove it a few years later. I also get some psoriasis flare up on my lower legs. So opaques work to hide all that. However I do have an issue with tights. Due to having an apple figure,  they have a tendency to roll down my torso and bunch around my waist.  But because of some, strange voodoo magic, Snag tights don't. They stay put. There is a size for literally everyone. The material clings well and the bands are engineered to keep them in place. So no more tights roll down, and I'm a happy girl. And the packaging they come in is super cute. All candy stripes and loveliness. Some companies go the extra mile to make receiving an order from them, a special event, and these are one of those companies. I loved this card they enclosed with it's positive message. 

I've made a conscious effort to exercise more this last month and I've managed to get my weight down to 93.6kg, so it's definitely going in the right direction. It's hard to keep a regular fitness routine, due to all of the curveballs being a carer can throw at me. But I am trying to exercise when I can. My next target is 90kg and I'm closing in on that. 

  

So what plans do I have for July? It's difficult to say, because of the uncertainty surrounding my Wife, but I definitely will try and have a few dressing sessions. I'm waiting to hear about respite care, but that will probably have to be deferred until we know more about what is going on with my Wife's health.  I'm going to try and hit my weight loss target, but won't commit to that, but I will definitely make an effort to keep up with my exercise. 

 

Have a good July everyone. 

Dee

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Tip Toeing?

 Tip Toe - A Fictional Drama

Like many in our community, I watched the Russell T Davies drama with much interest. It was a difficult watch. All of the actors were brilliant in this frightening tale of homophobia and right wing radicalisation. There were moments of humour to lift the otherwise bleak tone, especially from the lead character,  Leo who was played by Alan Cumming. The story is basically about the radicalisation of Leo's next door neighbour Clive played by David Morrisey. He is increasingly homophobic and racist and seduced by conspiracy theorists. And when he discovers his own son is gay, he reacts with extreme violence against his gay next door neighbour, who has been helping his son to come to terms with who he is. It shows all of the hatred that is now being directed at the LGBTQ+ community, and how it's amplified and stoked into ideological hatred that dehumanises the members of this community of people. And it ends with the vicious and disgusting lynching of Leo, by Clive and his hate filled gang of followers.  It's a tough watch from start to finish. It shows how a normal, reasonable person can become twisted and inhuman in how they perceive others who are different to them. How those who don't conform to normal can be vilified to the point of having their lives put in danger. And how the source of this hatred is coming from the internet and social media. It twists people into wrongly perceiving others to be against them, or to blame for problems in their lives. And the reactions are becoming increasingly violent and volatile, with the fires stoked by bad actors in society  who are either filled with hate themselves, or have something to gain from this maelstrom of hatred. I have found myself feeling vulnerable and scared and very depressed after viewing this program. Thankfully not scared enough to hide away or walk away and bury my head in the sand. But it has unsettled me. I hope it affects those that see it, in a way that provokes a positive reaction against the awful situation that is portrayed.

However, despite being critically acclaimed and seem as a warning of the awful bigotry that us prevalent today, it isn't being agonised over and discussed at the highest levels, in the same way as Adolescence, the series about boys being indoctrinated by misogyny, was. There was no interview with the Prime Minister to address it and tell us how he watched with his children to educate them about homophobia, as he did with misogyny, following Adolescence. This is definitely something that needs to be addressed. A warning that needs to be heeded.

It was powerful as both a drama and a warning. However it was let down by a poor approach over a couple of issues. One of the characters, played by Elizabeth Berrington was Stephanie, who was Leo's best friend. She was also gender critical. A TERF. She expressed her point of view a few times in the program. Apparently Russell T Davies has friends who are TERFs and believes that we should be able to have sensible discussions with them over the trans issue, and if necessary agree to disagree. So does that extend to being able to discuss the rights to exist as a  gay person with a homophobe, and then agree to disagree? Of course not. So I feel it gave the impression that transphobia is bad, but unlike homophobia not worth losing your friends over. So two tier bigotry. I believe that all bigots should be cut adrift, be it racism, misogyny, homophobia or transphobia. If you are a bigot, then I don't want to know you, and if you're friends are bigots, then you're a bigot too, to paraphrase the song, 'Racist Friend' by The Special AKA.

Another weak piece of writing came during the lynching scene, Clive suddenly feels remorse and begs his mob to stop. But it's too late. Leo is dead. This allows the viewer to almost see his death as an accident. Most bigoted thugs in that situation, don't have any qualms about seeing through their evil.  Clive may be a victim of radicalisation, but by the time he is leading the lynching of Leo, he is beyond all redemption, and should not have been afforded that moment of showing his humanity. 

Those points aside, it should be essential viewing for everyone, even if it is an incredibly difficult watch.

Tip Toe - The Reality?

Today, in the area of Cornwall where I live, there has been a shocking example of transphobic bigotry. It's Pride month, and in the spirit of that, the local library organised a storytelling and crafting event, with a couple of Cornwall's finest drag queens, Ginger and Roxie Moron. It was just a bit of fun for the children. Nothing more. No intentions of pushing any "Trans Ideology" as it's often referred to by gender critical fools. No just a couple of colourful entertainers reading some stories and colouring some rainbows and covering them in glitter. Not transgendered individuals, but men engaged in a craft that has been a British tradition for centuries. Female impersonation for entertainment. One of them, Ginger, even has a full beard. A lot of people, both children and parents were really looking forward to the event.  Just a bit of colourful fun. 

And then something ugly happened. Nasty comments and abuse began to be directed towards the library, and to Roxie and Ginger. There were death threats and abusive and homophobic and transphobic comments being posted. And then it became apparent that some of these bigoted idiots were threatening to turn up at the library and protest. And with that threat hanging over them, the library and the entertainers had no choice but to cancel the event, for the safety of the library staff, the entertainers and most importantly, the children. The last thing they would need is security guards or the police, escorting children and their parents into the venue, in some bizarre recreation of the black students being escorted into the high school at Little Rock, Arkansas in the 1960s, during the civil rights movement. The thugs planning to protest claimed to be doing it for the kids safety. I'm sure the children would be far more traumatised by right wing yobs, than a couple of guys who dress in frocks as an act. Entertainment. A bit of light hearted fun.

This is a screenshot of some of the comments these despicable idiots left on a local Facebook group. 

Disgusting comments. It even references Hitler, as having the right ideas about burning gay and trans books. I think it's Hitler. The melt that posted it, spelt it Hilter! There were worse comments and direct threats made directly to the drag queens and to the library. What might have happened if the event went ahead? Would one of these fascist idiots have decided to make good on his threats.? Could someone have ended up hanging from a lamppost like poor Leo in Tip Toe?

This country has a long tradition of males impersonating women for entertainment,  from Shakespearean actors, pantomime dames and ugly sisters (Shout out to Biggins), Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough's Cissie and Ada, Danny La Rue, Stanley Baxter, Dick Emery, Hinge and Bracket and the Blonde Bombsite herself, Lily Savage AKA national treasure, Paul O'Grady. And not forgetting Australia's housewife superstar Dame Edna Everage! How can any sane person see a threat to children from drag queens? Simple answer? They can't. It just suits their fascist bully boy agenda.

One heartening aspect of this awful situation is the amount of supportive comments being left in support of all those who were forced to cancel this event, especially the drag queens, Roxie and Ginger. It bears out the fact that despite these idiots being emboldened to behave in such a disgusting and thuggish way, there are plenty of people who will stand up to stop these facist scum. And I count myself as someone who will stand up against them.

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