Nasty November

 

I have my friend and fellow blogger, Sue Richmond to thank for providing a title for this round up of November.  She mentioned in a comment on a post, that it's Nasty November when all the bugs come out to play. And it's been quite a Nasty November for me. But not all bad. I did manage to dress a little. It's interesting that I tend to view a month as a positive or negative one,  by whether I got to dress or not. 

So why was November nasty? Well for the latter half of October, I had a slightly hoarse voice. It wasn't too bad, but it didn't clear itself up. I think the body usually deals with minor ailments within 3 weeks, and if it hasn't done so in that period, then it's time to get it checked out. So early in November, I made an appointment with the surgery. A medical practitioner diagnosed viral pharyngitis, which is basically your common or garden sore throat. I was given a throat spray to alleviate the symptoms. It didn't work and my condition deteriorated to the point of being very hoarse. It also destabilised my asthma. So back to the surgery and a GP sent me for a chest x-ray and full blood tests. This was worrying. Thankfully they have come back clear, so it's not cancer ir anything like that.  But what the problem is, isn't clear. It could be a side effect of the statins I started at the end of September. Or it could be irritation of the larynx caused by indigestion and acid reflux.  It's still a problem, but I'm off statins for now, and I'm due start medication to alleviate my indigestion problems. And it is getting slowly better. So hopefully it will be better soon.

This illness did scupper some of my plans for November.  And it wasn't just my illness that affected my plans. Nasty November was living up to its name.

I had planned to visit my friend Veronica Page and her wife early in the month. But Mrs Page had a bad cold, so that visit was postponed until December. 

I had plans to dress and go out to a local town later in the month. But I felt too unwell to go out in the cold weather we were having. So another plan scuppered. 

So with feeling ill, and it's associated worries, and scuppered plans, I think Nasty November deserves it's title this year.

I am beginning to feel a little better so hopefully December will be magic again, to quote Kate Bush.

One thing that my recent illnesses have brought home to me, is that I need to make a committed effort to get myself fit and lose weight in 2026. 

But November did prove quite fruitful on the dressing front, even if my plans were radically altered. 

Early in the month I had the chance to try out my new long blonde wig. It was just a cheap one from Amazon, to get an idea if long blonde hair suited me. It does. The wig looks lovely, although it does shed it's hairs quite badly. So I will look for a quality one in the same style.  I wore my black pleather dress and teamed it with my red cashmere cardigan, which I think looked very effective. I was pleased with the whole look.

Later in the month, I managed to find time to have another dressing session and I wore a couple of different outfits. First was my pink knitted twinset which gave me a more demure look. I took a few photos of myself reading one of my vintage home shopping catalogues, which turned out well. 

I love this prim and proper look. It's a nice everyday look. I teamed the twinset with my long velvet skirt, which is a lovely combination. 

The next change of outfit saw me donning my animal print knitted dress, which is a favourite of mine. I think it looks great with my short blonde wig.

So my November has been very up and down,  but despite not feeling great, I'm relieved that my test results indicate that there's nothing life threatening on the horizon. And although my plans never came to fruition, I did manage to have some nice dressing time.

My plans for December are obviously dominated by Christmas. But I'm hoping to get some dressing in. And hopefully having my postponed trip  to visit Veronica. It was going to happen on the 4th December, but I have deferred it for a week to give me some more recovery time. So hopefully it will take place on the 11th of the month. 

Have a great end to the year, everyone. 

Dee

💋💋💋

A Trip To See Japan (the band not the country)

 

It was in October 1982 that I found myself excitedly walking around the corner from my house, to where my friend, Alexis lived. It was going to be a wonderful day. 

We were friends in Sixth Form College, and there was a little group of four of us who were inseparable in our first year of higher education. We were drawn together by our love of music and fashion. We lived in a city on the South Coast of England, so very much out in the provinces, but close enough to London to feel the influence of the scene in the capital. We loved the pop music of the day. What is often referred to as the New Romantic scene, but our tastes were more wide ranging than that. But we adopted the androgynous and glamorous styles of the day. There was Alexis and Tracey. Lifelong friends who loved to dress up in cocktail dresses whenever they could. Alexis was just beginning to discover herself as a lesbian. She was very much the leader of our little clique. She was the organiser and would be almost motherly towards us. Tracey was very much straight and despite her flamboyant dress sense, she was very quiet and shy. It was clear that she idolised Alexis. Michael was openly gay and a full on gender bender in the manner of Boy George, but with his own unique style that was very much femme. And there was myself. Quite androgynous in the style of David Bowie and David Sylvian of the art rock group, Japan. Japan were my favourite band, along with the Human League, Soft Cell and Depeche Mode. I mostly identified as straight. I had a girlfriend, Carmen, who was 18 months younger than myself. But I knew that I did sometimes find  androgynous men attractive. Ever since I had a crush on one of my idols, David Bowie, back in the days of Ziggy Stardust. And for a couple of years, I had a big crush on the lead singer of Japan, the aforementioned David Sylvian. 

Alexis, Tracey and Michael were the only people who knew that I was a crossdresser. No one else knew. Not even my girlfriend. My two year relationship with my girlfriend was beginning to fizzle out, as she was still a schoolgirl and I was now on the cusp of young adulthood. Eighteen months is a short period of time, but the gulf quickly widens at that age for a couple of years, before the gap closes again. We literally grew apart from each other as our lives took different trajectories, with her being at school and myself being a student with other distractions. I would never have felt comfortable revealing my crossdressing to my girlfriend. But it seemed so natural to do so, to my little group of friends. I guess I knew it would be accepted, because we were the college weird kids. Drawn to each other by being different to everyone else, and not hiding it.

We were inseparable in college, sitting together in our little corner in the college refectory, listening to music and looking at fashion magazines, whenever we weren't in lessons. And we would meet up most weekends at whoever had a parent free house. Which would give me an excuse to crossdress in their company, often wearing the clothes of my friends mothers. Michael often did the same. It was fun. We never felt anything for each other, apart from close friendship. No romantic desires or sexual tension to get in the way. Just friends having the time of their lives. Innocent fun with a hint of decadence. Alexis and Tracey, would practice their make up skills on Michael and myself and vice versa, and we just had fun as teenagers should. Although our idea of fun was probably not that typical for teenagers. 

We were all very excited when we managed to get tickets to see Japan, live on the Sons Of Pioneers tour, in a neighbouring city. They were touring off the back of the wonderful album Tin Drum, released a year before.  

Japan were an art rock band who had been releasing music since 1977. Beginning with a very glam rock/punk style, they had soon moved into a very sophisticated form of art rock, influenced by David Bowie and early Roxy Music.  They had recently been heavily influenced by oriental music, which had coloured their latest album. Their image was quite androgynous with the band wearing make up and sharp suits. An image that heavily influenced the New Romantic movement that sprung up in the early 1980s. Duran Duran were especially influenced by their look, but they never matched the sophistication of Japan's sound. 

Japan

Sons Of Pioneers  

We had excitedly bought the tickets and the planning began. We decided to go full glam for this concert. A brave move as we had a 40 minute train journey to get to the concert venue. Alexis and Tracey decided it would be fun if I wore female underwear to the concert. I certainly wasn't going to object to that. 

 So that is why I felt so excited as I walked around to my friend Alexis' house. It was the day of the concert and our wonderful dressing experience. I ended up wearing an ivory bra, suspenders belt, panties and tan stockings which belonged to Tracey.  I had developed gynecomastia in my mid to late teens, and so my small breasts perfectly filled Tracey's A cup bra. I had bought a pair of women's trousers, in a dark jacquard material, which finished halfway up my calves, and a white silk blouse. Over this i wore a little denim box jacket. On my feet I wore a pair of black chelsea boots with a block heel. My hair was dyed auburn with blonde highlights at the front, very similar to David Bowie in his Thin White Duke persona. And I wore make up, which was normal for me. A very androgynous, if not overtly femme look. A look that adorned the music and teen magazines, and could be seen on television programmes like Top Of The Pops and The Tube. But a look rarely encountered on the streets of a South Coast city. 

Alexis and Tracey wore short sequined dresses with feather boas, fishnet stockings and platform heels. Their hair had been done in 1940s styles. They looked beautiful. And so glamorous. 

Michael wasn't with us when we got ready at Alexis' house. We had arranged to meet him at the train station.  We were amazed when we saw him. He was dressed as a geisha girl with a beautiful Japanese dress, and beautiful make up. We all looked completely fabulous. Of course we totally stood out from everyone else, and we got a lot of attention. Some of it positive, and some negative. But we were used to that, being the college weird kids. 

As we waited on the station platform, we noticed a passport photo booth. So we each took turns taking our photos and ended up with a strip of four photos each. I took Michael into the booth with me and showed him my girly underwear, as he hadn't yet seen it. Nothing sexual. We weren't interested in anything like that. Just good friends having a fun time. When we got home, we cut the photos up and swapped them, so we each had a set of photos of each other from our big night out.

We survived the train journey without any real problems, and once we got off at the other end, it was just a short walk to the concert venue. 

There were quite a few people in and around the venue, who were dressed quite flamboyant. Quite a lot of boys in make up. And some very glamorous looking girls. I think they were girls. We fitted in perfectly.  We definitely looked as good as anyone there . I decided that I would put my denim jacket into the cloakroom, so that I could show off my silky blouse, knowing that when the light shone at the right angle, my bra could be seen through it. I was such a flirt. I still am sometimes.

We had arrived late in the afternoon, so we would be near the front of the queue. Alexis, Tracey and myself wanted to get as close to the front of the stage as possible.  Michael was more interested in being seen, than seeing the band, so he said he was going to hang around the foyer for a while before the concert, and so would see us afterwards. He was such a poseur. In hindsight I think he was looking for a guy, but Michael was a bit of an enigma, so who knows? For the rest of us, it was all about seeing the band. Michael took our coats to check them into the cloakroom, so we could head straight to the stage front. 

At 6.30 pm, the doors opened and we entered and hastily ran to the front of the stage. And we stayed there until the end of the show. Alexis, ever the organised one,had brought a bag with bottles of water and sweets to keep us going. We chatted excitedly as we waited for the show to start. 

The lights went down at 7.30pm and the support band took to the stage. They were a Japanese band called Sandii And The Sunsetz. We had heard of them, because David Sylvian had written some lyrics  for their recent album, Immigrants, but we hadn't heard their music. They were very good. We all enjoyed them. Especially Alexis, who was rather taken by Sandii and her Oriental/American good looks. I thought she was cute too. Musically, they were synth pop. Very enjoyable. 

Sandii And The Sunsetz 

Immigrants by Sandii And The Sunsetz 

After a short interlude and growing anticipation, Japan took to the stage at 8.30 pm. We were enthralled by them. The front man, David Sylvian looked so beautiful. He really was a handsome man. Very androgynous with his blonde hair and make-up. The whole band looked amazing, and very dapper in suits or in Sylvian's case, a trench coat. And the music was incredible. A mix of wonderful rhythms and percussion with swirling synths and the wonderful slide bass sound of Mick Karn, that gave the band a very distinctive sound. They were wonderful and played a set featuring all of my favourite songs. The high point for me, was when they played the atmospheric ballad, Nightporter, which evoked the Trois Gymnopedies by Erik Satie along with the film Night Porter starring Dirk Bogarde. It's a wonderful piece of music.  The whole concert was wonderful. All too soon, it seemed, the band left the stage and it was over. 

Japan

On Stage

David Sylvian 

Mick Karn 

Steve Jansen

Richard Barbieri

Masami Tsuchiya

We were floating on cloud nine as we left the auditorium and entered the foyer. We soon found Michael, who was very easy to spot. There were a few people dressed as geisha girls in attendance that night, but Michael was the only boy dressed as one. We bought a programme between us and then bought a hot dog each to stave off our hunger. We got our coats from the cloakroom and we made our way to the station, chatting excitedly amongst ourselves. 

The train journey home was fairly uneventful. We got a few stares from other passengers, this time there were other Japan fans on the train,  so we weren't the only ones dressed on an androgynous style. And we got a few nice comments about our appearance from some of the other concertgoers. Of course, Michael was the centre of attention with his geisha girl look, but that was Michael. He was a piece of living art and needed to be seen as such. 

We got back home just after midnight and arranged to meet up the next day. I stopped by Alexis' house on the way home and quickly changed into my own underwear before heading to my house. 

In many ways, this had been my first public trip out crossdressed, given that everything I wore was clothes made for women, including full women's underwear. So that was exhilarating, to say the least. And the concert had been amazing.  Everything I had hoped for. And seeing David Sylvian stood just a few feet away was wonderful. I had emulated his look for quite some time, and he looked really beautiful. I was so happy as I drifted off to sleep that night. 

The next morning I was still buzzing as I walked down to Alexis' house.  Tracey was already there. Michael had phoned to say he wasn't coming over, so the three of us drank coffee and chatted about the night before. But Alexis seemed tired to the point of being exhausted, so we only stayed for an hour. We all agreed it had been wonderful and we would plan more nights out together for the four of us. 

However life had different plans. Two weeks after the concert, I was shocked to read in Smash Hits magazine, that Japan were splitting up after the final shows of their current tour. Their last dates in Tokyo in December would be the end of the band. Musical tensions and also David Sylvian beginning a relationship with Mick Karn's girlfriend had strained the band to breaking point. At least we had got to see them on their final tour.

Japan

Final Photo Shoot 1982

And as for the four of us, things changed beyond all recognition over the next 14 months, 

Alexis would be diagnosed with Leukaemia, have to leave college and would sadly pass away in 1986. I only saw her a few times as she spent a lot of time in a hospital near London. It was so sad.

Michael met a guy who encouraged him to quit college and move up to London with him. Years later Michael would return broken, with a drug addiction and HIV, having ended up as a sex worker. Thankfully he got himself back on track eventually, and he was one of the first to receive groundbreaking anti viral drugs that now mean HIV+ people can live their lives without their condition developing into AIDS. I saw him a few times down the years. He seemed to have found peace and happiness in his life. 

Tracey completely withdrew after her best friend became ill, and after nearly getting thrown out of college for non attendance, she threw herself into her studies to catch up. She passed her exams with flying colours and went on to university at Oxford. The last time I saw her was at Alexis' funeral in 1986.

And as for me, I nearly died in early 1984 when a car knocked me off my pushbike and I had massive injuries which still affect me to this day. But I survived and I'm still here.

Sometimes it's important to enjoy the moment for what it is, and live in it.

That night in October 1982 was a wonderful night. A night when we just had fun as the teenagers we were. Untroubled by life and living. 

Sadly life wasn't to remain as carefree for us, as it should have been.

But despite all of the difficult and sometimes tragic events that followed for the four of us, I still look back fondly to that night. To us going out dressed to the nines, expressing ourselves and enjoying being our true selves. Being carefree teenagers with nothing to fear and nothing on our horizons to trouble us. 

Footnote 

In 2018 I got a letter in the post. It was from Michael. I hadn't seen him since 2003. In it he had enclosed four of the photos that we had taken in the passport photo booth, at the train station on the night of the Japan concert. I never knew what had happened to mine. It turns out I left them at Alexis's house, and years later her younger sister found two sets of the photos. She contacted Michael and Tracey and they both had their sets, so she guessed they must be mine. She sent them to Michael. Michael tracked me down through my friends who had my address down here. He wrote a nice note reminiscing about our friendship and that night. And he included the photos. It was both wonderful and emotional to see them. We looked so young, and we looked gorgeous. Infuriatingly Michael didn't put any contact details on his letter. It was posted from Brighton. So I can only assume that's where he now lives. He did say that he is settled and happy. One day I hope our paths cross again. 

Here is the photo of myself, from the photo booth. I won't show the photos of my friends, for privacy reasons. 

Myself 

October 1982

In memory of 

Alexis

1965 - 1986

Mick Karn 

1958 - 2011

Remembering

 

Some Die

Some die.

Some have been executed by the government  or state judiciary of the country they live in.

Some have been persecuted and murdered by the government of the country they live in.

Some have been persecuted by the government of the country they live in, and have died in prison. Either  murdered by the authorities or other prisoners. Or dying through ill treatment or the harsh conditions. Or giving in and taking their own lives. Or simply dying of illness or natural causes while serving unjust sentences. 

Some have died attempting to flee persecution, bigotry and hatred. Attempting to find a better life for themselves, where they can express who they are freely, but perishing on the journey. 

Some have been murdered by being persecuted and attacked by bigoted people. 

Some have been persecuted to the point that their health fails and they die.

Some have been persecuted to the point where it gets too much, and they take their own lives.

Some have found the only way to try to survive, is through sex work and they have died as a result of that. Either murdered because their life is seen as worthless, or dying of sexualIy transmitted diseases. 

Some have died from poverty or homelessness, a situation that exists entirely because of who and what they are.

Some have found themselves in exploitative relationships and lost their life as a consequence. 

Some have found themselves in abusive relationships and died as a result of domestic violence by partners. 

Some have died as a result of sexual encounters where the person they been intimate with, has been unable to reconcile their own sexuality and desires, and blaming them, has lashed out and killed them. 

Some have found themselves in situations where they have been blackmailed because of who they are, and felt no option but to take their own life.

Some have taken their own lives, worn down by the constant bigotry they face in society. 

Some have taken their own lives because they tire of not being able to express their true selves. Either having to completely deny themselves the opportunity to be their true selves, or from the strain of having to keep their reality a secret and spending much of their life living in a closet. 

Some have died in despair, having opened up about who they are to friends and family and found rejection. 

Some die from attempting to self medicate themselves with drugs and hormones to try to be their true selves, with no medical oversight to guide and monitor them.

Some die to medical complications during difficult and invasive surgery or it's aftermath.

Some die because they can't access medical or psychological treatment and they give in.

Some die waiting for medical or psychological treatment that they are entitled to, but the waiting times are ridiculously long, even before the first steps are reached. 

Some die.

And those that die are our brothers or sisters. 

Dying because they are transgender. 

Simply dying because of what and who they are.

And those of us who are transgender, remember them. 

And we ask others to remember them too.

Because everyone in society has the right to be who they are, and to be able to live out their life, free from persecution, bigotry, exploitation, violence, and ignorance. 

Some die.

We all die.

But no one should die just because of their gender differences. 

Deeanna Williams 

A non-binary Tgirl 

Life Happens

 I haven't done any blogging in the first half of November. And my plans for the rest of November have changed. 

"Life happens while you are making other plans"

My big plans this month were to visit my friend Veronica and her wife at their home for a day in early November, and then to have a trip out in public, dressed as Deeanna later in the month. 

I was due to visit Veronica in the first week of the month. But unfortunately her wife developed a nasty cold, so the visit was postponed until early December. 

I decided to use the day to have a dressing session and wear the outfit that I would have worn at Veronica's. It also gave me an opportunity to try on my new long blonde wig. In the end I had a lovely day, although not as enjoyable as if I had been spending the day with Veronica and Mrs Page.

So one plan had fallen through, but I had my next target. The trip out in public. That was planned for this coming Thursday with trip to my home town to take a walk around the town centre, and then to visit M&S, Next and Boots just outside the town. I was really looking forward to it. But I've had a bit of trouble with my asthma in the last month, and it's worsened to the point that I am having quite a bit of trouble with it. I've seen the GP who sent me for an urgent chest x-ray and I will have further tests once the results of that are back, later this week.  So with all of that, and the weather due to be very cold, I've decided to give up on this trip out until I'm back to full health again. 

But I will have another dressing session on Thursday, but stay at home in my warm and cosy dressing space.

So life happens and plans change accordingly. 

Here are a couple of photos from my dressing session from earlier in the month. I am rather pleased with my look.

Deeanna 

💋💋💋

Observations On October

 Well it's the end of October as I write this round up of my month, and it's just 8 weeks until Christmas. For me, the run in to Christmas begins after Bonfire Night on 5th November, so not long to go. 

Halloween 

I usually produce a special Halloween image using AI, to post on my Flickr photostream and this is my offering for this year.

Halloween 2025

A rather dramatic look to instill fear into the hearts of all who set eyes upon it. 

Health And Fitness and Caring.

Healthwise it's not been a bad month. A bit of fibromyalgia pain and a couple of bad migraines, but not too bad. 

I had my 6 monthly dental checkup and all is going well with my oral health, so that's good. 

On the fitness front, I have done a lot of walking to try and lose weight.  The trouble is, I have actually put on a small amount of weight and then stuck there for a couple of weeks at 95kg.  This is a little disheartening after all of my efforts, but I can see some signs of losing flab, so I'm hoping it's increased leg muscles that are behind the increase in weight. I think I need to take some measurements and use them alongside my weight to assess my losing unwanted fat. I definitely feel a lot stronger and healthier.

As to my caring role, it's been the usual challenging routine, but fairly stable. My Wife is finding it harder to get around, which does add to my burden somewhat. 

Dressing 

I only managed a couple of dressing sessions in October. But they were very enjoyable and I got some good photos, despite a memory card failure, which meant that I had to go back and take a lot of the photos again. 

I chose to wear a couple of my vintage dresses and I was very pleased with the results. I do love dressing in such a way. It's just so feminine and lovely. 

I've also bought another blonde wig, this time a long one. It was only cheap on Amazon. I'm not sure about it, as I've never had hair below my shoulders before. It looks reasonable quality for the money. I'll give it a proper wear later next month. I only bought it on a whim, and it wasn't expensive. 

New Wig

Haircube bought from Amazon UK 

November's Plans

At the moment all of my attention is focused on getting ready to visit my friend, Veronica later next week. I've got my outfits planned and I'll be getting my bag of girly gorgeousness together over the weekend.  All that I need is for my Wife's condition to stay stable both before and on the day. And that has become a lot more variable in the last year or so. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed,  because I really need this visit to happen and go smoothly, because I always feel rejuvenated by these visits. And it's been just over a year since I last saw her, and I miss her. 

Later in the month, I'm hoping to go out dressed in public for a morning, with a trip to a nearby town. It's been a while since I've been out like this. Hopefully it will happen because I'm really looking forward to it.

And that's me, for now. 

Deeanna 💋💋💋

Posh Frocks Part 2

 

So this year has seen a couple of new retro styled dresses added to my wardrobe. I do love these wonderful tea/swing style dresses. And I think I look good in them. The A-line shape of the skirt section creates a flattering profile that doesn't need lots of padding to look feminine. In fact I don't wear any hip or bum padding at all with these dresses as the dress itself does all of that for me. They look good without a petticoat underneath and totally fabulous when worn with a nice frothy petticoat to create that classic A-line profile that was the epitome of 1950s fashion. 

The first of the new dresses is from my favourite retro dressmaker, Lady Vintage London. I love their elegant and classic designs and the fact that they are actually made in London, not just sold there. These are dresses of quality and as such, will last a long time and keep looking good. This dress is a Hepburn style, in a fabric pattern called 'Cobalt From The Blue '. As the name suggests it's cobalt blue in colour with a light floral design, featuring yellow tinged white flowers and seed heads.  It really is a lovely design and the shade of blue is quite unusual. I teamed it some black leather gloves and black patent Mary Jane platform shoes from Koi, along with some cute knee high, white lace socks. And a full volume petticoat to create that classic silhouette. I absolutely adored wearing this dress. 

'Cobalt From The Blue'

By Lady Vintage London 

The second new retro dress was once again my favourite Hepburn by Lady Vintage London. This time it was in a bright pink fabric with Rainbows on it, called 'Rainbow Wishes'. It's a very pink dress. The kind of colour you find in Barbie World. Being queer I love the rainbow design. One thing for sure is, this dress is making a statement and is going to be noticed. Which is good. When I wear a dress like this, I want to be noticed. I teamed the dress with a pair of pink elbow length gloves and a pair of pink and white Koi Mary Jane platform shoes with a 'Love Heart' sweets pattern. I wore white lace below the knee socks. I also wore a pair of pink framed cat's eye sunglasses to complete the retro-chic look. I really did feel like I'd stepped out of the 'Barbie' movie in this wonderful outfit. 

'Rainbow Wishes'

 by Lady Vintage London 

As well as these new retro dresses, I also wore a couple of my older favourites this Autumn,too.

I have a beautiful Hepburn by Lady Vintage London, which is black with a red rose pattern. I don't know the name of the fabric design as it's not written on the label, and I bought the dress second hand. I wore this dress in May 2024, when I visited my friend, Veronica. However, although I took plenty of photos of myself and Veronica together,  I didn't take many of myself on my own, modelling this dress. So I took an opportunity to wear it and take photographs. And most of the full length photos I took got corrupted being transferred to a memory card and as such, were unusable. I got some nice close ups but I lost nearly everything else, except some full length shots of the dress worn without a petticoat, to see this design of dress looks ok when worn like that. I think it looks ok when worn without a petticoat. It's much more subtle without the volume that a petticoat gives, but still has some feminine shape to it. So wearing these dresses like this is an option when I want to wear a pretty floral dress, but not make too much of a fashion statement. 

Of course I wasn't going to be able to wear this dress without going all out, so I slipped on a full volume petticoat. As I mentioned, these photos were lost to a technical issue. However I had plans to take photos in another dress, a couple of days later, so I also made sure that I took some full length shots in this dress.

I teamed it with a red cashmere cardigan from M&S and black diamond opaque hold ups. And also my Koi black patent Mary Janes. 

I really love this dress, so I was pleased to finally get some good photos wearing it.

Red Roses

By Lady Vintage London 

Worn Sans Petticoat 

The last retro dress I wore was yet another Hepburn by Lady Vintage London. This time it was black with small white polka dots.  It's a simple but classy looking design. I bought it second hand. I wore it with accompanying items as the previous dress. It looks great with the red cardigan. When worn with a cardigan, both this and the previous dress are perfect for both Spring and Autumn, although the colours especially suit Autumn. 

Polka Dots

By Lady Vintage London 

I'm currently looking for a nice vintage dress for the Winter. Maybe something in a tartan pattern, so I'm sure there will be another instalment of 'Posh Frocks' at some point in the future. Because I do, so love my retro dressing.

💋💋💋

'The Catalogue '

In our house it was simply 'The Catalogue'. In some people's homes it was called 'The Club Book'. For most working class and a good many working class families in the Western world, it was a staple part of post-war life before the advent of Internet shopping. 

The home shopping club was a way to buy a wide variety of goods chosen from the pages of the catalogue and get them delivered to your home address. A big part of the appeal of these clubs was the ability to pay for the goods using credit. Each item had the full price and also a weekly payment amount listed. If you chose to buy it using the weekly payment terms, then you had a weekly visit from the club agent, who collected your money.  

These shopping clubs had their origins in saving clubs that dated back to the 19th century. Their heyday was in the latter half of the 20th century. There were quite a few different companies in this field. The better known companies were Grattan, Freemans, and Empire. There were also two companies that used different brand names on their catalogues.  Great Universal Stores used the brand names Kays, Marshall Ward and Great Universal.  Littlewoods used the names John Moores, Peter Craig, Janet Frazer, Brian Mills, Burlington and Littlewoods. Brand loyalty meant that as these retail giants bought up rival businesses, they kept their name. 

I'm sure most of us will remember these catalogues, especially those of us over 35. They had an almost reassuring presence in our homes. If you needed anything you looked in   the catalogue and it was probably in there. Clothes, household goods, furniture, electronics, toys and much more. There were two editions issued a year. Spring/Summer and Autumn/Winter.  

In our house, 'The Catalogue' was the John Moores club book by Littlewoods. I can remember it from as far back as I have conscious memories. There was always a sense of excitement in the house when the new catalogue arrived. When we were children, that excitement was massive  for my sister and I when the Autumn/Winter edition arrived in late August. Because this edition featured an extensive toy and games section near the back of the catalogue. For us the rest of the catalogue was full of boring stuff like clothes and furniture and stuff for grown ups. Up until I was about 6 that was how it was for me. Show me the toys that I could ask Santa for. Nothing else mattered. I suspect for most little boys that was the way it was. 

But I was different. From the age of 6, I would still be excited to head straight to the back of the catalogue for the toys. Putting toys and games into my personal wishlist. Sometimes those wishes came true and Santa would deliver my dream toys. But you can only look at toys for so long. And so I began to turn my attention to the front of the book. To the womens fashion pages. 

I didn't know why, but I loved seeing women dressed in their pretty clothes. They were just exquisitely beautiful. And I deeply yearned to dress like that. So after the excitement of looking at the toys had waned, I would take the catalogue and sit for hours, looking at the photos of the women modelling the beautiful clothes. I imagined myself as one of the women wearing these beautiful garments. And unlike looking at the toy pages, the enjoyment of looking through the fashion pages never waned. I would see clothes that I really liked and return to view them again and again. For a few months these clothes filled my mind. And then a big chunky A4 parcel would arrive. And suddenly my favourite pictures of gorgeous fashions would disappear. And it would be replaced by a new catalogue. The Spring/Summer edition had arrived. 

The Spring/Summer edition of the catalogue had far less distractions in the way of toys, which were in the Autumn/Winter edition because of Christmas.  The focus of the Spring/Summer edition switched to outdoor pursuits, such as camping, gardening, leisure and Summer sports instead. But the clothing sections were as large as always. And that's what I focused on. Lovely Summer fashions that I adored. Gorgeous floaty dresses and skirts that I dreamed of wearing. I loved the fashions of the 1970s. They were so influential in my future development as a Tgirl. 

Peter Craig Spring/Summer 1975

As the 1970s progressed I found another level of enjoyment from the catalogue. Something I had in common with many other pre/young teenager boys. The lingerie section. I had always enjoyed looking at the lingerie section of the book, and imagining wearing such wonderful underwear, that was so much more exciting and attractive than the matching vest and Y fronts that I had to wear as a boy. But as puberty beckoned, my interest developed another aspect to it. Sexual attraction to the ladies modelling the lingerie as well as a desire to be like these beautiful ladies. Now most boys of that age had the sexual attraction without wanting to be like these ladies, but of course they weren't trans. I was.  

The pages of the nightwear and lingerie sections and in the Spring/Summer, swimwear   were a source of much excitement and sexual yearning for me. And in the late 1970s, they took on another level for me. Because that was when I went from wishing I could wear these lovely clothes and lingerie, to actually wearing womens clothes. Of more specifically my Mother's clothes and occasionally my great aunts garments. Because as I became a teenager I also became an avid and enthusiastic crossdresser. 

I found myself preferring the longline bras, corsellettes and girdles, both to view and to wear. And I was delighted to find a draw full of such underwear that was exactly the same as what I was lusting after in the pages of the catalogue. Somehow I instinctively knew that I should keep my desires to wear such wonderful underwear to myself. Especially from the other boys. Occasionally a group of us teenage lads would be at one of our houses, and someone would suggest we took a look at the bra and knicker pages of the catalogue. And as we viewed the gorgeous underwear I played along with just fancying the scantily clad girls, and not letting on about my yearning to be one of those girls.

Names like Gossard, Berlei, Triumph, Miss/Lady Mary and my favourite, Playtex were constantly on my mind, along with the associated images of feminine loveliness. And from my early teens on, I got to enjoy wearing many of the beautiful items of underwear I saw displayed on the pages before my eyes. My Mother had a curvaceous figure. Not plump but curvy. When I was a young teenager she was a size 14, and so was I. So I was able to slip into her clothes quite easily. In the early days I stuffed the bra cups with my socks to create breasts, but soon hit upon the idea of taking a pair stockings and filling them with the foam balls from an old bean bag. They worked quite well. I was a very resourceful teen Tgirl. It was a special thrill to compare myself in the mirror with the models wearing exactly the same underwear on the pages of the catalogue.  Although most  of the clothes would be completely different in each of the catalogue editions, the womens underwear stayed remarkably the same. A few new additions but the big brands kept their underwear ranges fairly consistent. 

The Lingerie Section 

As I moved out of my early teens and my hormones settled down, the lingerie section became no more or less important to me than the rest of the womens fashion pages in the catalogue. I  used to love gazing at all of the beautiful clothes,lingerie, shoes and accessories.  And my Mother regularly bought clothes from the catalogue, so often, clothes would appear in her wardrobe or drawers, that I had dreamed of wearing as I gazed at the pages of the catalogue. It was always amazing to wear something that I had seen in the catalogue. 

I dressed throughout my teens and spent many a happy dressed en-femme, pouring over the fashion pages of the catalogue. I loved how the styles changed a little each year as new fashion trends took hold. Especially as the 70's changed into the 80s and fashion evolved quite quickly. 

By the latter part of the 1980s and into the 1990s, my crossdressing became very sporadic and often non existent for long periods. But I still enjoyed looking at the womens clothing pages. However I didn't pour over them in the same way that I used to, visiting them on an almost weekly basis like I had done. By now the catalogue had become a practical presence in my life, rather than just fuel for my femme fantasies. If I needed something particular I would reach for the catalogue and see if they had it listed. An example of this was in the early 1990s when I won a compact disc player in a lager manufacturer's promotion in my local pub. It meant I would need to get rid of my old stereo record player (an Amstrad unit bought from the 1981 edition of the catalogue for my Christmas present) and get a seperate amplifier,  turntable and speakers to create a small hifi system for my bedroom. Where did I turn to for these items. The catalogue of course! And a Technics turntable, Marantz amp and Wharfedale speakers were promptly delivered to our door. 

The home shopping catalogues kept the same concept well into the 21st century, but one thing that largely disappeared in the 1990s was the agent who collected your weekly payments. By now people paid over the phone or set up direct debits or standing orders. In the 21st century this expanded to include online payments. 

When I moved out of my parents home, and settled down with my Wife in our new home in the mid 1990s, we signed up for a home shopping catalogue, as most people did. Our catalogue of choice was Littlewoods. At this point I was feeling some more femme stirrings and the catalogue certainly added to those. My wife would buy clothes from the catalogue and if I liked what she had bought I would wear them occasionally. I wasn't avidly crossdressing like I did when I was younger at this time. Generally the catalogue was now for many other practical purchases than clothes. We bought furniture and household items from it. I also remember buying my first DSLR camera set up from the catalogue, a Sony a200 with 300mm extra lens bundle. 

For my Wife and I our relationship with Littlewoods and home shopping in general ended on Christmas Eve 2010. Our washing machine suddenly broke down and the repair man advised that the cost of repair was such that it was advisable to get a new one. So we needed one in a hurry. Where did we turn to? The catalogue of course. My Wife ordered it and paid for it to be delivered, fitted and the old one taken away.  She was very surprised when they said it would be delivered and fitted on Christmas Eve. I was at work on Christmas Eve morning. When I got home in the early afternoon, I found a washing machine still in it's packaging in the middle of the lounge, and my Wife in tears. The guys delivering it told her it was delivery only. They weren't going to remove the old one and plumb in the new one. She insisted that she had paid for that service. She phoned Littlewoods and found they had closed for Christmas. She asked the delivery guys to take the new unit back as she didn't want it. They refused and just drove off. So on Christmas Eve, after finishing work,  I ended up having to unplumb and drag the old machine out into the back garden,  and then drag the new one into the kitchen and plumb it in myself, which was hard work for someone with no previous experience of such a task. We were both very angry.  On the first working day after the Christmas break, my Wife phoned up Littlewoods who confirmed that she had paid for fitting and old unit removal.  They refunded her the delivery and fitting charges. They offered us future discount vouchers to make amends but we told them to stick them where the sun doesn't shine. The Littlewoods catalogue went in the bin. We cancelled our account and never used a home shopping service again. 

By now the death knell was beginning to sound for this way of shopping. Credit was easy to find and available on almost anything you bought on the high street or online.  Yes, I said Online. The new kid on the block. The gatecrasher that was going to wreck the party. 

The Internet came into our lives in the mid 1990s.  It took a while to really establish itself in our lives, but in the early 2000s with the arrival of fast broadband connections it really took off. And so did online shopping. You could buy most things online and get them delivered to your door. And one company in particular would deliver the final fatal blow to the home shopping concept.  Amazon.  Because on Amazon you could buy as many different items as you could from a home shopping catalogue. The one area that Amazon wasn't so good in was with clothes shopping. But many clothing suppliers were selling online, including most of the high street chains. Marks & Spencer, Next, Debenhams, John Lewis, Monsoon and a whole host of others appeared online. It changed the face of shopping completely. Online shopping has slowly stifled shopping on the high street and threatens it's existence. But in the case of mail order home shopping, it has completely replaced it. Recently retailers from the far east like Shien and Temu have been making huge in roads into the online market in the UK.

The last home shopping catalogues were printed around the middle of the 2010s. The Littlewoods group produced their last physical catalogues in 2015, before moving to being online only. Littlewoods has since rebranded under the name Very after merging with K&Co, company that bought Great Universal, Kays and Empire. Very is owned by the Barclay Brothers. It trades as Very but still has an online subsidiary under its old name, Littlewoods. Grattans and Freemans merged in 1986 to become  Freeman Grattans Holdings but kept both names seperate. This is still the case online with the Kaleidoscope and Curvissa  brands joining Freeman and Grattans as their brands. So the reality is that the old home shopping brands have become effectively become two companies operating across the online retail world.

So that should be an end to my history with the catalogue. I have bought things from Very on occasion so that connection is still there, but that's about it. Except it's not.

I found myself feeling quite nostalgic about the old catalogues and their place in the history of my femme life. And then I discovered that I could purchase PDF copies of the old catalogues for £6.99 a copy. I purchased a copy of the John Moores catalogue from Autumn/Winter 1976/77.

Looking at was wonderful. I am very interested in anything that is mid to late 20th century and I love the fashions, and the furniture and furnishings of that period. So the whole of the catalogue is now a wonderful reference piece to the period that I grew up in. Some people refer to the 1970s as the decade taste forgot, but I have always loved it's in your face vibrancy. Quite simply it was my favourite point in time along with the 1980s.  I now have another two PDF copies of John Moores catalogues. Autumn/Winter 1978/79 and Spring Summer 1980. It's a lot of fun to have a look through the old catalogues remembering happy times from the past. And especially looking at the gorgeous fashions again. It's especially exciting when I see things my Mother owned and I wore as a budding Tgirl. 

A PDF copy of John Moores Spring/Summer 1980

Having got some PDF copies of old catalogues  then I found myself wanting a physical copy of a catalogue for old times sake. You can buy them on Ebay. Mostly from the 1990s and 2000s. Occasionally one from the late 1980s. They command a huge price. From around £80 up to about £350. I have only seen one from the 1970s for sale. It's not available for sale anymore. Because it's now in my garden studio/dressing space. 

I managed to buy it for £90, which is a lot for an old catalogue, but in the world of collecting, is a bargain. It was a bargain because the person selling didn't understand what they were selling and so put too low a Buy It Now price on it. And I just happened to see as it became available and bought it instantly. 

It's the Peter Craig Spring/Summer 1975 catalogue. And it's very unique. Because it doesn't have a full colour cover displaying a picture and the edition details on it. Instead it has a plain white paper cover with the Peter Craig name printed on it, and an explanation that due to unusual demand for this particular catalogue, they have produced a copy without a proper cover or index pages. They were able to meet excess demand in this way because beyond the name, cover and index pages, the contents of all of the Littlewoods group of catalogues was identical.  I can remember our John Moores catalogue at home being exactly the same as my Auntie's Peter Craig catalogue. If anything it should add to the value of the catalogue. But the edition wasn't displayed on it anywhere. The seller described it as possibly 1970s. For the price I took a punt on it. It was definitely mid 1970s. But what year? It didn't say anywhere. But I could give Miss Marple a run for her money in the detective stakes. These catalogues used to have a page listing records and cassettes for sale. I'm a keen collector of records. And two records listed confirmed which edition it was. The Spring/Summer edition arrived on our doorsteps in February each year.  This edition listed for sale, Diamond Dogs by David Bowie and Caribou by Elton John. The former was released in May 1974 and the latter in June 1974. Therefore they couldn't have been listed for sale in a catalogue released in February 1974. Elton had only just finished the recording on January 1974 and this catalogue would have been printed before then. So Spring/Summer 1974 was out. It had to be Spring/Summer 1975 because as well as these records, there were no early 1975 releases listed, which ruled out 1976. The lack of a proper cover actually makes this copy quite rare. Although any copies from the 1970s seem incredibly scarce. I'm lucky to have it.

My copy of Peter Craig Spring/Summer 1975 

I love seeing all of the old fashions. I think that nostalgia is quite an enjoyable and powerful thing in our lives, that can bring happiness and warmth, if it's balanced with making the most of the here and now. It's lovely seeing things how they were.

So I have a rather unique and wonderful piece of history to enjoy reminiscing with.  It's wonderful and really takes me back to a special time in my life. A time when the girl within me was beginning to stir and start to awaken. The weird thing is that when this catalogue was delivered by Evri (yes I know  it's a miracle it got to me in one piece), I felt that same frisson of excitement that I used to feel when the postman used to deliver the catalogues of old.

Happy memories of something incredibly influential in creating the femme being that is me.

More from my Peter Craig catalogue 

And now I have a yearning for some foundation wear in some outrageously bright colours. I think I need a time machine.

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